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06 April 2006
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how do you be certain of your feelings?how do you make sure, that you're not falling in love with him? how can you try to maintain the friendship, when you know you treat him more than just a friend? what do you do when you wish time stayed still when you're with him? let me tell you smth. i've never expected to feel this way. true, back then, i once fell for him. but i told myself, stop it. i'll never be with him, much less get close to him. and i wont do anything that will jeopardise our perfect friendship. he'll never treat me more than a friend. and i got over him, successfully. who would ever thought that i'll fall for him again? why is it, that i always want his attention? why is it, i don't mind being left alone with him only? why do i search for a place where just the both of us can sit down and talk? why do i wish, he'll wait for me, so we can go home together? why does my mind wander too far off? he makes me smile, just by looking at me. he cheers me up, just by talking to me. i'll never get offended by him. no matter what he does to me. is this what you call love? or, to be more precise, puppy love? i have no idea. i really don't. all i know is, i look forward to seeing him. i look forward to the end of school, so i can talk to him. i look forward to sitting and talking with him. i look forward to his smiles and words. i like it when he just blasts off other girls to talk to me. i like it when he disturbs me. i like it when he pays attention to me. but tell me, am i falling too fast, or too deep? honestly, i don't want to harm this little innocent friendship of ours. if wanting his attention, means i'll lose this friendship, and lose him, i rather not. i rather stay away, and just be his normal friend. i rather go through that than to lose our friendship forever. cause, it matters to me. it does. i don't want to toy with my own feelings anymore. O level isn't far away. it's just a matter of months. i don't want to fall so badly, that i can't recover. i need to concentrate. i do. i want to do well. and i want him to do well too. now, all i can tell myself is, stop yana. its not worth your time. but the heart, is a stubborn muscle. it doesnt listen. sigh- i guess i'll be okie. i just needed to let that out. today was fun, in some ways. during maths class, things din go too well. you'll be okie right, my dear? takecare okie. don't stress yourself too much la. we went mac. as in me, reza, budiman, hizam, elias, amos and wj. it was crap. reza was being super duper slow. and budiman, was being damn blurr and retarded. =] hehs. some of the lines ; "amos like sitting alone sia. " when he WAS sitting alone. DUH. =D "my phone screen cocky sia. " WTF. =) HOHO. IT WAS DAMN FUNNY. budiman and i talked about purple and green notes [ 2 & 5 bucks ] , and reza was damn slow. today was geee-rek. really. plus the ++factor, and the time i spent with him. (= life's fun, to a certain extend. iggy said that nowdays i rarely hang out with JOANNE THAM. yeah, sad but true. :( where is she? i miss her. |
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nor liyana mohd khalis.i'm always in love with pretty boys. like as if i don't learn from experience, i always give in to sweet words. and i never learn from the past. i'm vulnerable to hurt, but i'd like to believe i'm stronger than i seem. jauh di dasar hatiku, aku tahu aku masih kasihimu dan menyintaimu. namun kau sudah berpunya, kau sudah bercinta. disini kita berakhir, tergantung segala cerita dan kisah lama. wishlist
an arsenal jersey please.to watch a play. tagboard
affiliates
ayn
bani
complexite
dynn
erdiah
ekah
fizah
jass
joyce
maz
matt
nisa
nette
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yaya |